Saturday, 4 October 2008

Is she taking the piss?

I'm in nights mode which means at the present stage I'm knackered and my ability to mince words is zero but this, I'm afraid, just HAS to be said. Jacqui Smith on Boris Johnson's 'invitation' for Sir Ian Blair to remove himself from post -

Speaking on BBC's Question Time, Ms Smith said: "There's a process in place that the mayor chose not to respect"

WHAT? you mean like YOU did with our fucking pay negotiations last year and are still doing by completely destroying the fair process that has existed for 30 odd years, simply so you can control it on your terms?!?

She then went on.....

"What is important when you are both choosing and when you're supporting somebody that you're asking to do a job like that is that you keep party politics out of it"

REALLY?? So you're saying that you'll be willing to give the job to someone who is blatantly right wing in their views and who thinks that the Police should be terrorising real criminals and harassing them until they stop committing crime, move, or kill themselves?? Give me a break you fucking hypocrite. The post of Commissioner is everything about politics and everyone knows it. It shouldn't be, but then you bastards have been trying to get the Police under your thumb for a hundred years, exactly how stupid do you think we are?

Home Secretary, as a serving Police officer and one who wants nothing more than harass drug dealers and burglars and their ilk every single day, I for one cannot WAIT until the Tories get in, for no other reason than you'll lose your seat and you'll have to fuck off back to something you actually know, like teaching, which is the only thing you're actually qualified to do.

I've been pissed off about that comment since I read it on the train yesterday afternoon and now I've said my piece I'm going to sleep.



Caroline said...

Don't let her bugger up your blood pressure as well as your job mate, she is a mimsy half wit with about as much concept of the real world as a stuffed rabbit - more importantly, she is in a huff cos Boz did what had to be done and she couldn't stop him, I saw the same piece and I was laughing - she can huff and puff as much as she likes, I doubt it's keeping Boz awake - and she will soon be gone too

Anonymous said...

Do you like to drink before you write this stuff?

Anonymous said...

MCM agree with your comments about her hypocritical comments but the return of the Tories mmm. Lets think that would be interest rates in double figures, 5 million unemployed, riots in Liverpool, Bristol, London, Newcastle and various other towns and cities, encouraging home ownership by those who clearly can't afford it, allowing building societies turn themselves into banks and compounding the credit problem, the Sheehy Report, selling off our utilities which are now owned by foreigners, CPS and PACE. Yeah looking forward to them coming back.

Anonymous said...

Wow!! I've had night shift bad mood rants before but my word! I have to say I agree with you, no way should politics come into the way we do our job but unfortunately working for the state comes with this in tow!

XTP said...

Hear, hear!

BTW - are you on Nights now?

Anonymous said...

Jacqui Spliff is a teacher? Of what? Incompetence and pocket lining? 'O' level stupidity? How to lie and get away with it?

Tony F

Anonymous said...

You are a very vulgar person, MCM. These past few posts show you in your true colours.

Or is it a desperate gimmick to get published? ... gritty realism, that kind of stuff?

Or, far more likely, are you just a poorly-educated loudmouth, after all?

Angry Rozzer said...


I fucking love you!

Top comments mate, Just finished nights myself & had pretty much the same reaction you did. Personaly, I hope the bitch Smith dies in a freak yachting accident.

I'm off for a lie down before my blood presure goes loco.

blueknight said...

I watched Question Time and Auntie Jackie looked distinctly uncomfortable. The problem for her was that although she probably wanted Blair to go, he was Labours 'Golden Boy' and to sack or suspend him would have been an admission that the Govt had made a bad choice.
Boris achieved in one day what the Home Office has been wringing their hands over since Stockwell.
This episode has damaged Auntie Jackie's credibility as a Minister while for Boris the opposite is true.
Anon 12.55 - so, the Lib Dems or the BNP then.

Anonymous said...

I think her main qualification (and that of other MPs) is to talk utter bollocks whilst keeping a straight face - she can't really believe what she's saying can she ?

MB said...

MCM for Prime Minister, what an outstanding speech that would make :D ;-)


Custard Skipper said...

Buddy, on nights too and just read the blog before bed, cracked up as I had the same reaction! (I think I win on swear words though during my outburst in the office!)
All politicians are knobs, just time for a change at the mo'

Metcountymounty said...

caroline - my blood pressure is fine, I just take deep breathes :o)

anon 1224 - I hardly drink any more and never before I'm at work, so er, no.

anon 1255, as blueknight says that only leaves us with the BNP or lib dems, neither of whom I'd want to see in power, at least the tories would reverse some of the damage labour have done for no other reason than to prove they can and to put the boot in.

Louise, I'm known for my rants, its the main reason I'm not supposed to speak to 'important' people like SMT when it's busy or something has gone tits up as it usually does, they don't like to hear honesty!!

xtp - aye!

TonyF, officially she was, whether she was any good at it is another question, and one I don't really care much about either because she is utterly shit at what she is currently doing.

anon 1614, as The Big Yin says, no matter how articulate you are, there are some occasions when telling someone to fuck off is the only way to get the view point across. Quite frankly I don't care if you think I'm vulgar, I've said and heard much worse, it's called working in the real world. You've obviously read some of my other posts so I've shown I'm not completely uneducated, so yours was a bit of a non point, but thanks anyway.

angry rozzer, a yachting accident? why waste a perfectly good yacht when meteorites and lightening are free :o)

Blueknight, I' haven't been able to watch it yet but I've got it on sky plus so may just watch it to see her looking uncomfortable and ever so slightly vexed, but I don't want to damage my tv so might just delete it instead!

anon 0503, agreed!!

MB, we were discussing the other night about our whole team putting in applications for the Commish just for a laugh but I don't think we'd get through the papersift!

custard skipper, I chucked in a few of the harsher ones when I first blew up about it, and then several times again through the night when other people brought the subject up!!

Thanks for the comments everyone, I'm glad I wasn't the only one she pissed off over the whole affair!! Now my circadian rhythm has settled thanks to forced sleep, we're feeling much better now.......

Blue Eyes said...

Do you know what the depressing thing is MCM? Most voters seem to accept that politicians are hypocritical - and therefore passively allow them to get away with it. If more voters pointed out the inconsistencies like you just have, politicians of all hues might start taking a bit more notice and might stop treating us like idiots.

Another great post.

Metcountymounty said...

I really don't know how they get away with it. I was thinking about a line in Red October yesterday that seems perfect -

"I'm a politician, which means I'm a cheat and a liar, and when I'm not kissing babies I'm stealing their lollipops. But, it means I also keep my options open"

Anyway, we can only hope karma eventually comes back round to give them a damn good shoeing when they're kicked out of office.

After a set of shifts where everyone on team could be quite justifiably described as 'prolific' I was able to eat one out of 4 meals whilst still warm (we're supposed to get 2 breaks a shift when we work 12 hours but we rarely manage one at the best of times and I didn't eat a thing on one of the days other than a couple of bourbons) we were run ragged but it was good busy.

I'm totally knackered, but having already vented my spleen (in a particularly vulgar fashion apparently) I'm torn between two choices - do I sleep for a day then eat, or do I stuff my face with a loaf of toast and couple of cooked chickens and then vegetate on the sofa..... hmmmm choices choices.....

ginger said...

Jacqui Smith blamed Boris Johnson for circumventing established protocols in forcing Blair out. No he didn't - he merely reiterated comments he has made for a long, long time that Blair is the wrong man for the job and should go. He doesn't have the power to sack Blair. Smith does, but she decided to accept the resignation rather than to support Blair. It suggests to me that she was happy for him to go but couldn't be seen to be the cause, given all the anti-terror/ID card etc issues in which she had supported him.

Similarly, Blair refused to resign after taping the AG, being accused of racism, Jean Charles De Menezes, being found to have assisted in the award of a lucrative Met contract to a friend - yet he felt he had to go following long-standing comments made by someone who had no power to enforce his wishes. Or was it because he was about to be suspended in relation to a second contract going to a friend and knew that Smith couldn't save him? Mmm, let me think....

Blue Eyes said...

Eat, sleep, eat again.

Dangerous said...

Great Post, MCM, however the problem is that you are largely preaching to the converted. We know!!
Those of you directly affected by her bu****it need to get the info into the open press. There is a story which some parts of the press would jump at.
Good luck.

PCLightyear said...

Oooo language mate!

Jaqui Smith, stealing oxygen on our behalf!

Big Jack said...

Quite possibly the best post I've ever read and you've typed some crackers up to now.
I never thought I'd vote Tory with my dad being a hardcore Labour supporter.
However, with me being a copper, my sister a school teacher and my parents working for local government, Labour have lost four people who had the party been honorable, honest and reliable would have received all four votes at every election. Not much in terms of votes but with us being big Labour supporters and turning our back on them, what are those who used to be 'on the line' thinking?
I really will celebrate the day Labour lose the election. But don't get cocky Mr Cameron - you just basically appear to be the best of two bad options.

Anonymous said...

What difference would it make if the Tories get back in? None. There is no difference between the political parties in Britian these days... they all follow the same centre left nostrums.

Damo Mackerel.

Metcountymounty said...

Damo - it won't make the slightest bit of difference, but it will piss them off and a few will actually get booted out of their constituent seats which is the absolute minimum they deserve.

Alex said...


PCSO Bloggs said...

Top post mate. Totally agree.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha, and ou told me to lay of the espresso!

I hadn't read your blog or ages, but I am glad I came back!


Metcountymounty said...

hahahaha!! so I did, forgot about that!!

TWINING said...


Whichendbites said...

could your other entity be back on the rounds again ? Seems like it from one of the comments left on mine.

came from here

Metcountymounty said...

WEB, yep, I've seen a few from cuddles, just goes to show how short sentences really doesn't help with rehabilitating someone!! said...

Honest Question: Do you *really* think that you are doing some good?

MarkUK said...

Come on MCM, don't mince words - say what you feel!

Metcountymounty said...

well cuddles, according to the burglary victims we dealt with the other night after nicking the suspects, and the family of the GBH victim we dealt with, yes. We're not going to change the world but if I can help some people along the way then yes I'm doing some good. Honest answer.

Gliese 581c said...

...and how many section 27s have you pulled recently?

How many times have you nicked someone for textual harrasment.

This past month.

If you are going to attempt to be honest, then be *completely* honest, eh?

(Strange concept for an Asperger's like you, I know .. but give it a try?)

bobbyc said...

hmmm.... axes to grind, shame the real world is a rough place

Metcountymounty said...

gliese 581c - haven't met many aspies have you? one of the advantages of having a family member who teaches at a special needs school, I've actually met some, they're brutally honest.

Anyway.... nicked for text harassment? never, warned a few but none in the last couple of years actually. Same for section 27's, we don't need them or use them thanks to a beautiful thing called council byelaw, a good way to get druggies out of problem areas instead of letting them walk around like zombies begging people and asking them to sell them crack, not too nice for the guardian readers and city boys to see the nasty side of life when they just want to have a drink.

In the current month.. well, 2x D&D's, 1x GBH, 1x drink drive, 1x burglary so far and still a number of shifts to go, but thanks for asking.

I'm sorry, did you actually have a point?

gliese 581c said...

A point?

OK I shall be more specific, as to be brutally honest, all your squirming is truly cringe-worthy.

This current month represents how many work hours? Including the ones when you're at the station blogging on work's time... and please don't give me all the drivel about Metguard

And in this current month how many hours were you actually out there on the mean streets?

And these heroic collars of yours. Sound good indeed but can you supply details For instance

- The D&D's: were these really just a a couple of tipsy student girls making homophobic remarks about horses?

- The drink drive : you spent an entire shift staking out a pub car park? ( Not a police pub though eh?)

- The burglary: you and five of your mates saw a skinny kid lurking by a fence?

Give DETAILS please, constable. If you can.

4) How many work hours so far this month for these few paltry collars - and how many officers involved in each one. Or did you do them all single handed?

Fair enough questions?

CAN you answer?

Metcountymounty said...

can I answer yes, will I? no. why? because you're a troll who's just not going to believe anything I put anyway so why bother entertaining it. laters big fat planet boy.

Anonymous said...


Please don't rise to the baiting by gliese 581c who is clearly a knob.

TheBinarySurfer said...

My sentiments exactly - but then again hypocrisy is nothing new to politics. It's bread and butter in fact - the current government is about-facing so fast someone may well confuse Jacqui with a rather rotund spinning top shortly.

Oh and she can't bugger off back to teaching - she's a failed schoolteacher (check her history a bit more closely).

Anonymous said...

MCM, if someone disagrees with you or asks for details about a statement that you make on a public forum, it does not make them a troll/couumunist/gay or whatever.

Your very flimsy reply, followed by insulting people who ask you questions, presents you in a very poor light to the rest of the world.

Metcountymounty said...

anon 0838 - who said anything about a gay communist? Gliese is a troll, I know they're a troll and the usual comment which I haven't published tells me that I was right. There are a few people who troll the police blogs who will twist any comment or argument and will not believe anything we put. I've no reason to lie but I've no intention of justifying myself or my actions and giving out specifics which could identify me or the incidents I deal with.

Suffice to say I don't like being in the office and would rather be outside and I don't do bullshit arrests for the sake of a detection or a figure, and I'm not going to risk a couple of years inside and losing my house and job by lying about what someone has done to get them arrested.

Anonymous said...

Fair enough and no one is saying that you personally are a conspiratorial liar.

But on average how many arrests do you make a month and how many colleagues are involved in each arrest and what fraction of your time is spent in the office?

Metcountymounty said...

anon 1037 - My own personal aim is to get ten a month, sometimes I hit that, sometimes more, sometimes less. We run a 12 hour shift pattern which works out as 15-16 working days a month so that's an arrest every other shift which isn't unreasonable. If you work an 8 hour pattern you work more days in the month an will probably make more arrests, it depends on the calls that we get sent to. sometimes we can go without making an arrest every couple of days, sometimes we can take in 2-3 a night which again isn't unreasonable, especially if they are drunk and have to be bedded down and handed over which makes it considerably easier to get back out. If you have indoor postings like front office or gaoler then you won't be out on the street, we also have other postings on team who wouldn't be sent to a call unless all others were tucked up.

Now that we have a new custody system it is actually quicker to get someone booked in. If there is no queue, they are compliant and don't have to have clothing seized and don't need to be strip searched, we can leave custody inside an hour. A basic handover file and statement again would take an hour, then half an hour for a crime report. So, even for the easiest arrest, 2.5 hours of work but as we mostly work in pairs one will do the custody bit as the other does the paperwork so we can usually get back out in around an hour.

If there is a queue, they are violent, have clothing seized or other exhibits, or if it is multi-handed job (such as 3-4 people nicked for gbh/burglary/car theft etc) then the time it takes goes up considerably. To make it easier then there will be an arresting officer for each bod, their partner will do the respective paperwork and someone will act as OIC and will collate everything, this is usually arresting officer who gets out of custody first if there is more than one arrest.

An example, one person nicked for gbh where the victim is punched and kicked to the floor, certainly not rare but severe enough to present life threatening injuries.

Everyone available will go to this because it is a life threatening situation and you don't know who can get there first so we all try. This could be one double crewed unit or seven (I wish) it just depends on what else has gone on and what people are tucked up with. The victim is found by one unit who will give whatever first aid they can until the ambulance arrives, they then control and secure the scene. Two police officers committed. A couple of witnesses are nearby and describe a suspect who is identified and detained close by. They are arrested by another unit (because the first are contaminated by proximity contact with the victim) and taken to custody. another two committed. The witnesses are taken back to the station where two officers take their statements so they can go home quickly. another two committed. So far you have six officers dealing with one gbh incident. In addition to those at least one Sgt and probably the Inspector will be overseeing the initial investigation and getting together other resources as appropriate. If there are more witnesses or more suspects then more officers deal.

At least one of the officers will go along with the victim to hospital for continuity of evidence and to seize clothing and pre-transfusion blood samples from the victim for evidence. This will usually be the first person to physically touch the victim for practicalities sake.

The other officer will then remain with the scene to preserve it for scenes of crime examination. Depending on the size of the scene you will have at least one officer. I've been to a murder at a park where there were over 15 officers on scene guard because the cordon was huge.
That officer will remain there until the scene is soco'd and CID confirm it can be closed down and cleaned by the council. This could be a number of hours later, though it is usually the next morning so it can be searched in the daylight.

The suspect will be booked in to custody and will have a number of exhibits seized, all their outer clothing and shoes, swab samples of their hands, photographs of clothing and injuries, possibly nail clippings and possibly hair combing if glass is involved. With an experienced pair this can take around 2-3 hours with everything being properly seized, exhibited, bagged/sealed and then organised.
After the suspect is put in the cell the arresting officer and his partner will write their statements collating all the evidence that has been seized, incident reports, put the crime report on and write up the handover for the investigators.

That is a best case scenario. Sometime we have no option but to deal with it with less people and if you get a busy shift where everyone gets at least one body then we're screwed. That's why we try not to nick any old rubbish because sods law says that as soon as everyone is tucked up then something goes pear shaped. And it usually does. Personally I'd much rather deal with a proper job than some drunken twat who doesn't know when to bugger off when asked.

As for normal time spent in the office, on a 12 hour reasonably busy shift without getting your own arrest probably half the time in the nick, dealing with crime reports, stop search forms, mispers etc but that changes daily depending on what happens.

Anonymous said...

So you're not really out on the streets much at all then, is what you're saying?

Metcountymounty said...

anon 1754 - you kind of missed the whole reason the Police blogs started up and why there are more than ever haven't you? No I'm not really out on the streets a lot, I'm out on the street about half of the time at the moment, which I'm not happy about by a long shot. when I was a probie I could very easily have spent 35 hours of a 40 hour week inside dealing with admin and prisoners. If I didn't have to deal with any handovers from the previous shift I could probably stretch it to 10 hours out in total.

I'd love for my part of an arrest to take 30 mins but at the moment it doesn't, it's slightly better than it was thanks to the new custody system which everyone slated but has shaved about an hour off booking in time. As for all the rest of the superfluous nonsense? the new stop forms now take one minute instead of seven which is nice but we could use them considerably less. we'd still have to write a statement after arrest, a crime report could be shaved to about half the info and time could be stripped down considerably if they actually used a decent system instead of repeating info, but exhibits would still be the same, protecting scenes extra would be the same and so would dealing with any victims.

Unless we went back to zero physical evidence gathering for forensics, a crime report being nothing more than a custody booking in form and the courts not needing anything particular then we'll still spend time on admin.

we're as unhappy about as the rest of the world because we see it more and see how quickly our resources are stripped by it.

Anonymous said...

I see. Thank you.

And going back to an earlier post of yours, which council bylaw is it that you said you spent most of your time enforcing when you are out on the steets?

Metcountymounty said...

I never said I spend most of my time enforcing it, I said we can and do use it instead of section 27 notices. The violent crime reduction act covers potential alcohol related disorder and the power to disperse one or more up to 48 hours, the one we use covers all forms of disorder, but I'm not going to go into the full details as I don't know how many other councils have the same type of bye law but I know neighbouring boroughs have something similar.

We use it predominantly to get rid of druggies, robbers and thieves from the designated area and then can nick them for breaking it. We can use it for alcohol related disorder, but to be honest there are so many people who we could serve it on we'd do nothing else, so it's used to disperse crime instead of pissheads.

An example; you live within the designated area and you see a guy hanging around, obviously dealing drugs but when the Police arrive they can't find anything on them. Taking into consideration the person stopped (previous convictions and intelligence specifically) the circumstances and the information from other people in the area we can disperse them for a set amount of time from the whole area, if they return within the time limit they can be arrested and charged. As a disruption tool it is quite effective, and the courts don't like it when people breach the order because it was put in place purely to make life better for the residents by getting rid of people who come there to exploit others.

Anonymous said...

YES, Jacqui Smith IS taking the piss. I have just become aware of her plans, [allegedly supported by senior police and security officers] for a massive government database which will hold the details of EVERY email, phone call, text message and web-site visited. This of course is being proposed under the old chestnut of the "prevention of terrorism".

WHAT UTTER BOLLOX. This is nothing more than Gordon [Stalin]Brown's personal vision of complete state control over an overtaxed, oppressed people.

IF they did manage to bring this one in, any terrorist would most certainly become extra cautious about their communications. They would not be so careless as to let anything slip in texts, phone calls or emails. D'oh!!! But the state would then have the powers to snoop into EVERYONE'S personal lives.
YES, Jacqui Smith is taking the piss, and so is Gordon Brown, AND the senior police and security officers she claims are supporting this Orwellian intrusion.

They have beefed up this "terror threat" just like the WMD's dossier to justify the war with Iraq. They are trying to make out that the terrorist threat is far worse than it actually is. There was even one knobhead politician on BBC question time, who said that if people did not agree with this government proposal to invade our civil liberties, then those people are "supporting terrorists".

What utter twaddle. But what else can we expect from a bunch of Stalinist psycho control freaks. These people are more "terrifying" with what they are doing to this country than a few mad Muslim fanatics. Who SHOULD be thrown out of this country with no hesitation.
Human "rights" laws do NOT apply to people who seek to do harm to others. That was my understanding of the HR laws, when they were brought in a few years ago.

Doesn't Jacqui Smith et al understand, that all these databases holding our personal information is a violation of OUR Human Right to privacy?