Friday, 26 September 2008


There are very few things in this world that shock me any more. Some might be a bit gross and make me cringe, like the ankle bit in Hostel, other incidents I have been dealing with have had me a bit awestruck, like seeing someone eviscerated after a knife fight, which was both amazing and seriously bloody painful at the same time. Others piss me off no end with the sheer selfishness of the act, a great many of the things that have shocked have been as the result of burglars. I hate them. After rapists and paedos, they are the one group of people I hate so much that I honestly believe they should, at the very least, have both their arms removed at the shoulder. With a blunt tea spoon.

This would of course make them dependant on people to help them as they would be disabled, and you can be damn sure that that help would come from tax payers money so they would continue to be a drain on society for the rest of their lives.

For this reason I'm a big advocate of a couple of rounds in the head and then dump them in the sea to let the fish sort the body out. This is controversial at present, obviously, but I've been saying it since my parents house was burgled when we first moved back to the UK permanently, especially as the bastard lived over the road (caught on the way out by the local beat officer) and I had to see him everyday until they were eventually booted out of their council paid house. Since then I have never once gone to bed without going round the house to make sure all the windows downstairs are closed and locked and all the doors are locked. I have met a lot of people who have been burgled and I dread to think how many burglary reports I've taken, I have absolutely no doubt that most people who have been burgled do exactly the same thing to try and stop anyone getting in again.

It's a violation that hits people in their most vulnerable place, in their home, the main place they should feel safe and secure, and that is why it is so painful to victims of burglaries.

There is one other place that you are supposed to feel safe, where you hope that nothing bad will ever happen to you and where you think everyone around you is there for no other reason than to make you feel safe.

Your hospital bed.

We had a briefing slide that went out to all the local divisions that I saw for the first time recently.

"officers are requested to help identify the following CCTV image of a suspect for a recent burglary. This male walked into a ward at the children's hospital, went into a room where a young patient was receiving treatment and stole the laptop computer as she was asleep"


Utter, utter vile bastard.

Forgive me for not feeling a damn thing the next time I find a burglar screaming in pain after they fall out a window and send their leg bones in directions they weren't designed for, or through a skylight and break their back, or sever an artery and a couple of tendons on a window they broke. As far as I'll always be concerned, no amount of pain or suffering they get will make up for what they put their victims through. As far as I'm concerned, we'll continue to blat to a 'suspects on premises' call and we'll continue to pursue burglars trying to escape in cars, even if the mass readership of the Daily Wail or the Guardian slag us off for it.

I don't care, I hate them.



Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree more. What I hate most about burglars is that they tend to believe that they're somehow entitled to what they steal because they've been short-changed by society in some way. Unfortunately it's such an easy way to earn a living it's surprising more people don't do it.

Blue Eyes said...

Spot on as usual.

Hey Mr MCM is there a good reason why trespass is not a criminal offence in itself?

Metcountymounty said...

Blue eyes - it depends on the intent, if someone is in a place where someone else doesn't want them to be then there are usually other higher offences that you can pick to deal with it, such as burglary, going equipped, found on enclosed premises, criminal damage etc. Trespass is a civil matter and there are enough tools in the box to deal with anyone if we need to.

Metcountymounty said...

also it would be an absolute pig to legislate and define, let alone enforce, the caselaw would make it even worse, so best left as is!!

Blue Eyes said...

Ahh now you are getting into good reasons!

compuserf said...

Could not agree more with your main point. But why waste the 2 rounds? Just deport them, 12 miles offshore. Or if that's not PC, then transport them to Rockall. No buildings or catering, drop them out of the helicopter and let them eat each other.

Metcountymounty said...

I think the arctic iceshelf would be better, those who find they're strong enough to look after themselves in the snow only then have to face the worlds largest land predator, who quite enjoys having a bit of a scrap before tea. until the icepack melts and they're swimming in the minus 20 sea. hmmmmm chilly burglar.

Anonymous said...

That is absolutely disgusting. As if ordinary burglary wasn't bad enough. I can to some extent understand the drug addict burglar's motivation to steal - they just need the means to get more drugs - but even so...

And not that this is a reason to forgive them. I doubt most of them were tricked into taking drugs, and it's not like there isn't enough information given out in schools about what they do to you. At least in my school.

Oh wait, they didn't go to school. We need desks with rings for mounting handcuffs on.

Anonymous said...

I remember one of the best jobs I've ever been involved in with a warm tender glow was the time a good few years back ( pre CCTV nonsense, time of proper coppering) when me and the lads caught a burglar in the house, in the act.

He had a pillow case full of swag in hand and kicked off..... MWA HAHA. We kicked the sh&* out of him, then some. By the time he hit custody he was blubbing for his mum and his trousers were 2 stone heavier.

Great days... Got fuck all but a bit of justice was done.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely, this is the ultimate invasion of privacy while vulnerable, did the identify him? And which crap sentance did the judge reward him with?

I went to a store manager who badly broke his leg chasing a shoplifter in his store........... all I can say is the guy had better hope the police are there to deal with him when he turns up and not the staff of the store!

MAX said...

Im with you mate, I hate burglars with a passion.
There is an organisation in the USA that gives you a cash reward if you slot a burglar you catch in your house.

One of the funniest stories with us happened about 6 months ago. Billy burglar is making off accross a roof. An officer is giving commentary. Next thing, on the open channel you hear the burglar scream, the sound of the roof breaking in and the scum falling 20ft to land in a painful heap at the feet of a pro con who panics and empties a full can of spray into the burglar. very bad day for him. Priceless for us.


Metcountymounty said...

Max - sweet!!!

Louise - no idea if the guy has been nicked yet but as for the sentence I'd rather not know to be honest, but for burglary it certainly won't be a 20 custodial in a tent in death valley. As much as we would all like it to be.

The Black Rat said...

MetCountyMounty. Please standing for election. I know that this is probably insulting as both of your parent were married PRIOR to your conception BUT you speak to truth. Every MET officer I know would vote for you. These scrotums must feel the full weight of some law if we are to clean up society.

Damo Mackerel said...

How about putting them in pink boiler suits and press ganging them into doing some work? Street cleaning or some such. Forget it though, the liberals and PC lobby would never allow it.

Metcountymounty said...

Blackrat - I'd rather boil my own head thanks, having met a couple of politicians the thought of sharing a bar with them or having to make nice doublespeak conversations with them makes my skin crawl, plus at least a metvest would do a slightly better job at taking a stab in the back compared to a saville row pinstripe!

Damo - they tried that and yes the left brigade said it was against their human rights as it was unnecessary and unlawful humiliation so they binned it, just like putting their photos up on every lamp post.

If the choices were to humiliate them or slot them, given that we can do neither at present, I know which one I'd choose every time.

The Black Rat said...

Hi MetCountyMounty. I do agree, it was said tongue-in-cheek. I know it sounds trite but I find that there is still honour amongst the police and we do strive do make society better. Politicians, well that's another story. If they were to focus on the important aspects of their jobs rather keeping an eye on the derriere above them, like the SMT, the world would be a happier place. Regards

PC Michael Pinkstone said...

Back in the 'olden' days (e.g. in the Wild West) they used to hang horse thieves.

So, basically, the equivalent today (considering modern charging 'standards') would be giving little Jimmy scrotum a lethal injection for TWOC.

Clearly this isn't going to happen.
And that's a tragic shame.

For burglars, meanwhile, I advocate an electric chair scenario not unlike that one from the Green Mile.

What do you think Mr Jingles?

Metcountymounty said...

dry sponge = ouch

Blue Eyes said...

I think if we are to have a return to the death penalty, it should be entertaining to watch. The dry sponge scene was sickening and would only put people right back off!

There is a certain simplicity and efficiency in the guillotine, I think.

Girl*Next*Door said...

"There is a certain simplicity and efficiency in the guillotine, I think."


But maybe I'd prefer a first time be-header, with a rusty axe, who doesn't put their all into the slice for the top league scum such as child rapists & the like.

Puts a whole new spin on 'hacked off'!

Yes, I've thought about this too much, I know!

Good post MCM, let's hope karma is in action the next time he/she/it is doing something risky.

Bobbi said...

Evil git. To steal at all makes me mad, but to steal from someone sick, in hospital, and above all to steal from a CHILD! That's disgusting. That laptop was probably her way of keeping in contact with her friends. I think they should introduce compulsory conscription for these people-then use them as bait for terrorists!